ATLANTA — Prominent Atlanta music pioneer, philanthropist and mental health advocate Shanti Das created a pocket guide book titled “Have Yourself a Merry Little Griefmas” that is full of helpful tips on navigating grief during the holidays.

Shanti Das, a former veteran music executive at LaFace, Arista, Sony, and Universal Motown Records, said she is no stranger to loss, struggles, and grief.

“We lost our father (Ash Tosh) to suicide when I was seven months old,” she said. “My maternal grandmother (Lillian “Mu”) who helped to raise me passed in 1996, and my uncle (JP) who was like a father to me and one of my male best friends (Jarrell) both passed in 1998. I lost a close girlfriend (Phyllis) in 2003, a close uncle (John) in 2004, another father figure/ uncle (Louis) in 2009, one of my very best friends (Eva B) in 2014 and then the big ones that nearly took me out - my only sister (Maria) in 2019 and my mother (Gloria/Mama D) in 2022. So, I do know a good bit about navigating the grief journey.”

Das created the pocket guide over a year ago. It was an idea that she had and wanted to put it in writing on ways to cope during the holidays to help others. Some of her friends helped add ideas and tips to the guidebook during the past year.

“This is typically a festive and fun time of year, but the holidays can really be a struggle for many who are missing a loved one that has transitioned,” said Das. “It’s important that we honor our feelings and allow ourselves to feel and heal. Don’t let anyone tell you how you are supposed to be doing or feel, but at the same time, try to let others in to help and support.”

It is also key to volunteer free time at a local shelter or community foodbank. It helps to alleviate the sadness you may be feeling, Das says.

Experiencing many losses and struggles during her life inspired the idea of creating the phrase and organization “Silence the Shame” in 2016.

The Georgia-based organization Silence the Shame raises awareness on mental health, stigma reduction and suicide prevention and provides resources to those in need. It is meant to help people silence the shame they may be feeling and to not be afraid to reach out for help when they need it.

Das said helping others inspires her.

“What inspires me is being able to help others in need,” she said. “I have complete strangers that come up to me and tell me that my organization and the work that I’m doing has helped them or their family. That’s the real blessing. I get my inspiration from other people and being able to help people in some of their most vulnerable times. It is special. My brothers and their families inspire me as well. I learned to not let grief consume me so much that I ignore my loved ones who are here. Spending time with my family that are still here.”

It is vital to avoid isolating yourself from others when you are feeling lonely.

“It is important to let community in, with family, friends, and the people who love you,” she said. “The hardest part sometimes is finding yourself home alone, you’re listening to Christmas music and some of the songs are sad, then you find yourself going down a rabbit hole. Get active, try to be social if it is not too hard. Even if you let one person in, you have to let someone in.”

One of the tips in the guide discusses finding ways to honor your loved ones.

“Some people have started foundations in their loved ones name based on their cause of death or something that they supported,” she said. “You can give an ornament with your loved ones photo on it and decorate the tree as a family and make sure the ornament is put in a special place. The most important thing is to think of ways to keep that memory alive and come up with unique ways that speak to the family so you can keep their spirits alive”

Other helpful tips include creating a photo book or memory book, planting a tree, or volunteering in your loved ones memory.

Das said what helps her personally cope with grief during the holidays is traveling and being in new environments.

“I really like tip No. 17, which is Finding Ways to Cope Prior to the Holidays. That could be engaging in meditation, traveling or taking a trip, or starting a grief support group. For me, because so many of my traditions in Christmas were rooted in memories with my sister and my mom, it is still a little difficult,” she said. “I like to take trips, whether it is in the country or out of the country. I like creating new memories and finding myself in a different environment. I like making a plan. Staying off of social media also helps.”

She says for anyone struggling mentally, don’t be afraid to ask for support and utilize the resources around you.

“If someone needs mental health support, my nonprofit Silence the Shame has a section that points to of resources in Atlanta or nationally,” she said. “Even just calling your primary care doctor and tell them that you are struggling or you need support from a mental wellness perspective. That can be the biggest hurdle sometimes if people are afraid of asking for support. You don’t want to be struggling alone and there is nothing wrong with needing help.”

For anyone interested in volunteering at Silence the Shame, visit their website and click on the section for volunteers. The organization hosts multiple events in the community every year and welcome anyone interested in helping.

To purchase the guide book, click here.